ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA—Few outside of the mathematics teaching profession had ever heard of the U.S. Clay Mathematics Institute prior to three weeks ago, but the organization garnered international headlines when, after offering a $1 million prize to a Russian mathematician for solving a 100-year-old math problem, the money was turned down.
Dr. Grigory Perelman, a former mathematics professor who lives in a tiny, cockroach-infested apartment in St. Petersburg, turned downed the cash prize, stating, “I don’t want people looking at me. I’m not a mathematics hero. Just a dude with a pet iguana, a long, unruly beard, too many allergies to name, and tons of grooming issues.”
But it was disclosed yesterday by his neighbor, Vera Petrovna, that he actually turned down the prize money due to an ironic twist of fate. “Grigory,” Petrovna stated in broken English while shaking her head and cackling, “no can get big brain around currency conversion.”
The most brilliant mathematics mind in the world misplaced a decimal point by a few places, then turned down what he thought was ten U.S. dollars. He considered it the easiest decision he’d made since switching college majors from physical education to mathematics. Continued Petrovna: “Iz $15 fee to get check cashed here. Get ten for cost of fifteen; no good deal, correct? At least he understand that math.”
Upon solving the Poincare Conjecture, one of six major mathematical puzzles the Clay Institute has offered a $1 million prize for solving, Perelman, prior to his seven-figure currency miscalculation, began rifling through a Sears catalogue from 1972 and picking out items he wanted to buy. A major fan of toast, he was hoping to purchase ten each of the thirty types of toasters Sears carried 38 years ago.
Once Frisco Mondo, the Clay Institute’s Senior Vice President of Tough Math Problems, learned that Perelman had turned down their $1 million prize, he began rifling through an Office Depot catalogue from 1998. “My capital budget just got a lot bigger,” said Mondo, grinning. “And I do love calculators and pushpins. And a chair that swivels would be really cool.”—Citizen Dick Arneson reporting
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