FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE                         


CONTACT:
Roderick Nerberger, III
CommGlobalTeleVista
214-289-7729
littlerod.nerberger@commglobaltelevista.com
http://www.commglobaltelevista.com

CommGlobalTeleVista Seething Over AT&T/T-Mobile Merger, Threatens to Hire More Athletic Employees

Dallas, Texas — April 11, 2011 — CommGlobalTeleVista announced today its plans to fight “tooth and nail” the pending merger between AT&T and T-Mobile, which, according to many industry insiders, could be approved by the Department of Justice as early as December. 

“You want to talk about unfair,” said Noble Tud, CommGlobalTeleVista’s Chief Executive Officer. “We’re just getting ready to roll out our 2G service, and these guys are already on their fourth G. If they’re not going to play fair, we might just skip the 3rd and 4th G and go straight to 5G. Or maybe we’ll roll out Double G. Then Double G squared…really put it out of reach. 

“And AT&T was already too damn big anyhow; now they’re gonna’ be huge. And if they get to compete as one team with T-Mobile during this year’s Telecommunciations Olympics, we’ll start hiring track stars and professional bowlers, and people who are really, really good at the three-legged race and egg toss.”

According to Herb Lyler, a former telecommunciations executive who now blogs daily about the industry on his website, http://ipraymykidsdontgointotelecommunications.com/, “CommGlobalTeleVista got into the wireless marketplace way too late. I don’t know if you recall, but Noble Tud said—I believe it was in the late 90s—that ‘only the top 1 percent of wage earners will ever be able to afford a cell phone. We would [CommGlobalTeleVista] rather spend our time, energy and money on something the public really needs, like pre-paid calling cards.’” 

At day’s end, CommGlobalTeleVista’s stock price was down 0.13 to $10.20 per share.

For additional information about CommGlobalTeleVista’s participationg in the 15th Annual Telecommunciations Olympics, go to www.commglobaltelevista.com and look for pictures of fat, white men in athletic shorts and hawaiian shirts trying to balance eggs on the end of a spoon.

CommGlobalTeleVista is a global telecommunications corporation employing over 44,000 cynical employees in twenty-two offices on four continents, even though they only offer services on three. Claiming to have the most beneficial benefits of any other company in the telecommunications industry, CommGlobalTeleVista owns and operates thousands of domestic, fiber optic miles that traverse the country in no particular form or fashion. CommGlobalTeleVista sells long distance and data service, cell phones, spotty wireless connectivity, pre-paid calling cards, meat byproducts, sea salt, and, if there’s a god of telecommunications, Double G service by 2012..

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