April 26, 2011

Hey, folks, Noble Tud here, CEO of CommGlobalTeleVista, the company that was so cruelly protrayed in some idiot’s novel entitled Citizen Dick. Don’t buy it—he attacks me in the book, as well, but claims his use of my name, title, and exact physical description was purely a coincidence. I’m not sure I believe him. 
    As most of you know, we recently changed part of our logo at CommGlobalTeleVista.  We put in the tagline “We’ll probably merge some more”, changing it from “Customer Service First.” I didn’t like that one, of course, because Service and First didn’t rhyme.  If it could have been “Customer Birst First” or “Customer Service…”  Well, I can’t think of anything that rhymes with Service, but you get the point.  And, well, I can’t honestly say that customer service is first at CommGlobalTeleVista.  A lot of companies say that, but, honestly, it’s really about the stock price.  If that’s not our first priority, then, well…we’re all out a lot of money, especially all of you who’ve decided—and rightly so—that CommGlobalTeleVista is the right company to put your money into.  Nothing makes me happier when somebody walks up to me and says, “You know, it’s because of your company that I can afford to buy a new bass boat”, or “It’s because of you that a person that looks like me can get a girl that looks like that.” Actually that’s never happened, but I intend to change that.  Although somebody did come up to me on the street one day and ask for directions to the nearest Hooters, but that really doesn’t have anything to do with our stock price.  Oh, yeah, that’s right…somebody did thank me for our stock price when it was in the mid-twenties, but that’s been awhile. And he didn’t buy a bass boat with the money he gained by investing in CommGlobalTelevista. Actually, I’m not sure he invested in anything. Please God, let him have sold it back then.  Not that I recommend ever selling our stock.  Of course, in his case, it would have been wise considering we’re now under $12 per share.  But, as I always say—-or like I’ve said since it got below $14-—that’s better than being under $10. And now that I think about, that guy probably did sell his stock when it was in the twenties. He was with his wife—-I’m assuming it was his wife-—and she was as big as a house.  I didn’t ask, but I’m hoping—-for his and her sake—-that she had a crouton in the old microwave.  And if she did, I bet he sold our stock, because nothing can siphon a checkbook like a sticky little crumb snatcher. And if she was fat AND pregnant, she probably gave birth to a kid that ate a lot. Which, of course, would have meant that selling our stock was necessary; I’m guessing it was necessary because he didn’t look that bright, and I’m guessing he didn’t have that good of a job, at least not one good enough to afford taking care of a fat and pregnant wife and a future fat kid. I hope he had a lot our stock and sold it. And that’s really what CommGlobalTeleVista is all about—-making dreams come true by helping to feed and nurture children.  I wouldn’t be surprised if you see something about that when we change our logo down the road.  CommGlobalTeleVista—we feed and nurture children. NOBODY in the telecommunications industry can lay claim to that.     
    Keep dialing…but on our phone lines! 
                - Noble Tud, CEO, CommGlobalTeleVista